Dear Julie
Julie Skinner
Issue date: 4/9/09 Section: Opinion
Dear Julie,
I've been dating my girlfriend for four months. We go out to dinner at least twice a week. Sometimes, we go to dinner and a movie. Lately, when she calls me and asks what I want to do tonight, I tell her I'd rather just stay at home and cook dinner, but she says "no, let's go out." I would rather stay in and save money. I don't know how to tell her that I want her to start paying for some things. What would be the easiest way to get that point across? - Confused
Confused,
Dates these days can be ridiculously expensive, so I feel where you're coming from. After four months of dating and going out at least twice a week, I'd say that you and your girlfriend should be communicating enough to openly talk about the problem at hand. Obviously, when you do want to stay in, you still want to spend time with her. This says that you really do care about her, but you just don't have the funds necessary to keep up the dating style you started out with. I would cook her dinner. Make something she likes and is not expecting. Tell her you're taking her out, but that you want her to meet you at your house instead of picking her up. Then, surprise her with dinner and tell her that you'd really enjoy doing this more often. Maybe, she'll love it as much as you and want to stay in more. Or, if she keeps pushing going out, just tell her straight up that you can't always afford it, and that it would be helpful if she pitched in, too. Nothing wrong with old-fashioned dating, but ladies, we need to help out when we can.
Dear Julie,
I don't have a boyfriend, but I do occasionally go out on dates. I can't seem to find a guy who understands me or someone that I can relate to. I usually rely on my friends to set me up with guys they know or who are friends with their boyfriends, but it never works out. I would really like to meet someone who I can have fun with and also start a relationship with. Where can I find this guy? - Searching.
I've been dating my girlfriend for four months. We go out to dinner at least twice a week. Sometimes, we go to dinner and a movie. Lately, when she calls me and asks what I want to do tonight, I tell her I'd rather just stay at home and cook dinner, but she says "no, let's go out." I would rather stay in and save money. I don't know how to tell her that I want her to start paying for some things. What would be the easiest way to get that point across? - Confused
Confused,
Dates these days can be ridiculously expensive, so I feel where you're coming from. After four months of dating and going out at least twice a week, I'd say that you and your girlfriend should be communicating enough to openly talk about the problem at hand. Obviously, when you do want to stay in, you still want to spend time with her. This says that you really do care about her, but you just don't have the funds necessary to keep up the dating style you started out with. I would cook her dinner. Make something she likes and is not expecting. Tell her you're taking her out, but that you want her to meet you at your house instead of picking her up. Then, surprise her with dinner and tell her that you'd really enjoy doing this more often. Maybe, she'll love it as much as you and want to stay in more. Or, if she keeps pushing going out, just tell her straight up that you can't always afford it, and that it would be helpful if she pitched in, too. Nothing wrong with old-fashioned dating, but ladies, we need to help out when we can.
Dear Julie,
I don't have a boyfriend, but I do occasionally go out on dates. I can't seem to find a guy who understands me or someone that I can relate to. I usually rely on my friends to set me up with guys they know or who are friends with their boyfriends, but it never works out. I would really like to meet someone who I can have fun with and also start a relationship with. Where can I find this guy? - Searching.
Viewing Comments 1 - 2 of 2
household movers
posted 5/12/09 @ 9:40 AM CST
Good advice, Julie. I have seen some similar columns where the writer ends up giving short-sighted advice that is not constructive to the people asking the questions. (Continued…)
Bradley Williams
posted 8/13/09 @ 12:03 PM CST
Good advice. I usually like to read columns like this because giving advice is something I enjoy doing, no matter how eccentric the question.
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